circa 2009…

circa 2009…

I feel that I look like this guy when I go to the beach.

I feel that I look like this guy when I go to the beach.

I used to hang out with hookers in LA, and to justify my presence I’d offer service reviews to passersby. I was still a virgin at the time so I basically just kept describing my friends in a way I might describe pizza I really enjoyed (being that I don’t actually like pizza and had no interest in sex, for pizza to be enjoyable to me it has to be really good.)

So while I’ll, probably, never be able to brag that the “hooker gave the money back,” I have earned commission.

Happy Easter.

Act for the Lord, Goddamnit

  • Aunt: Eric, do you want to say grace?
  • Me: What's my motivation?
aseaofquotes:

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

aseaofquotes:

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

(via ladyofleithian)

friendzonied:

m’lighter

friendzonied:

m’lighter

(via montypla)

robotmango:

gooqueen:

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

ah but when you turn 34 you’re two dancing queens and thus having twice the time of your life. and at 51 you become the dancing triumvirate and three golden crowns are forged in your honor

lots to look forward to

(via somerandombanana)